Finally.
After a looooong while,I’ve finally been able to do things I’ve put off till now, like:
read a non-medical book.
Watch a movie without thinking "I should be reading…"
Haven’t watched TV yet though.
Now I’ve got to look for a job.
I hope its done.
It was a simple yet dignified funeral for a dignified man. I leave out the “simple” part because there’s a whole lot of things I never quite understood about my Tito Noel. Yes, he lived his life simply, following an invariable routine from day to day, but the motivation for doing so eludes me. Taking into consideration the other aspects of his life – how he spent his youth, his old dreams and aspirations – I wonder what it was within his soul that spurred him on to the path he chose. I hope he found what he was looking for.
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5 days back in Iloilo, yet once again, I have missed an opportunity to more thoroughly examine my own soul through the lens of another person’s existence.
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Grandfather… I met you for the first time today. Your blood courses in my veins. You live on.
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The countdown continues.
30 hours to go.
Bring it on.
My Tito Noel died this afternoon.
In one of my last conversations with my uncle last February, he confided that he always wanted to go sky diving. We told him that as soon as he felt better after chemotherapy, that we would do that. Without any trace of regret, he replied:
"…some dreams were meant to just stay dreams."
My most recent and poignant memory of him relates to how caring he was. In spite of the fact that I probably saw him only three or four more times in the sixteen years since I moved back to Manila from Iloilo, he was someone who upon learning of my passing the boards, took out a congratulatory ad in a regional newspaper. I never knew of this until he gave me a copy of the paper when we visited him two months ago.
He lived his life frugally, piously, and without any hint of ostentation. He worked not for himself, but for the church and the community. As a testament to him, in spite of the simplicity of his life, he affected a lot of others, and will be missed by many. I will miss him.
The full story of his life has yet to be revealed, but I guess the measure of how well one lives their life can be seen not in the number of accomplishments they have to their name, but in how they face the end. I know in my heart that he was prepared.
He was a good man. May he rest in peace.
I’m burning out.
2 more weeks before I finally take Step 1 and I’ve reached a point beyond care. Done reviewing Kaplan. The scary thing about it is that it contains much less information relative to what I tried to cram into my head for the boards. Now I’m doing first-aid, and there’s even less. However, in spite of the dearth of information, I’m not really retaining anything new. I guess I’ve reached that saturation point where new knowledge just slips away. So I’m stuck making the same mistakes. Nuninuninu…
To let off some steam, I’ve relied on a steady stream of TV, DVDs, gunsmithing, and playing with the kittens.
TV:
Started watching Gray’s Anatomy. I actually like it better than House and Scrubs. Don’t get me wrong, I like the latter two, but I don’t think I could ever have House’s diagnostic prowess (along with his at-times shotgun approach to patient care), and Scrubs doesn’t quite capture the drudgery of hospital work. Drudgery I can totally relate to. Besides, watching while reviewing is a bad idea. The confusion from the review carries over to the shows. CSI started talking about Praeder-Willi syndrome, and all I had was this vague feeling that I read it somewhere in chromosomal aberrations, but I couldn’t make the connection. That’s my situation right now. Lots of disjointed eponyms mixed up in my head.
DVDs:
Got a copy of Brokeback Mountain. Uh, not for me of course… Not gonna make any further comments on this, except that I also had to ask if they had a copy of Rambo: First Blood. They didn’t.
Gunsmithing
Spent the last two days trying to convert my teka-teka Glock into an electric blowback. Its not coming along so well. As far as I can tell, all it’ll be able to do is piss out BBs.
Kittens
The kittens’ eye infections are resolving. Surprisingly, in spite of my history with them, they actually approach me when they see me. Well, if they’re gonna be nice, then so can I. Quid pro quo.
Again, why couldn’t it have been puppies.
I’m rambling. And it is a hot day. I’m delaying. I gotta get back to my First-Aid. Two weeks from now, I can start living again.
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Flashback to one year ago: Was on the tail end of internship. Assigned to 5-Delta, the female med ward in AFPMC. Wow. A lot has happened since then. Many changes… though apparently, not the drudgery.
This is it. Crunch time. Again.
26 more days before another major exam, and I still have 2 more subjects to review. As usual, I’ve now co-opted my weekends. I used to have an inviolable no-studying-on-Sunday policy, but now, given how much I’ve dilly-dallied on this step, I’ve got no recourse but to just forego all (or most) extra-curricular activities.
I guess I’ll just see you all next month.
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Spent some time looking at a street map. Interesting names, I might add, usually with a theme. One village had street names like Colossians, Thessalonians, Corinthians, Romans, then WTF…? Pangilinan? St. Paul apparently wrote a lot more letters than previously believed.
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Why do older people shout into mobile phones?
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Has anyone else noticed the pinoy pedestrian "shuffle-run?" Its done by people crossing the road in front of traffic. They sway their arms and shuffle their feet like they’re running, but actually, they’re crossing the road at about the same speed as a five year old… What’s up with that?
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